Insecure Hosts.... You knows it

Love; an idea. A hope. And for you, a futile dream. Until now.

Advanced partner selection from a huge database!

New! Stalk-o-matic Service! Track down the love of your life!

Online speed dating service using MSN¹!

Finding your perfect partner is very hard, so we've stepped in to make it easier. Whether you're looking for a life long soulmate to enrich your life, or just a quickie down some dark alley, we have just the thing for you.

Some of the great features of our service include:

• Automatic membership renewal so you don't need to remember!
• We have an in-depth customer database sourced from our hosting business, all of which must be single if they use us
• All our customers have low standards, making it simple to match you up
• New speed-dating service for people who like to replace quality with quantity
• Our members are so insecure and worthless they'll never leave you!
• Online video service to show how ugly you are, or for our Gold Members we can provide an actor
• We supply a list of talking points for you, like our great service and pricing
• If all else fails, we'll forward you to our Russian brides partner site

We reserve the right to use your profile in any way we feel, including but not reserved to:

• Mocking you
• Selling your amusing profiles to other companies
• Mailing pictures of you to our mates
• Keeping any decent naughty pics

^{1: What else? You wouldn't know what Skype was if you signed up here}